


Poking the Bear

by Marrilyn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amused Rowena, Annoyed reader, Creepy Bernard, Episode: s13e19 Funeralia, F/F, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:18:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marrilyn/pseuds/Marrilyn
Summary: Reader is creeped out by Bernard. Rowena is amused.





	Poking the Bear

He was there all the time.

Day and night, hotel room or busy city streets, he never left your side. Tall and imposing, looking more like a bear in human form than a man, he creeped you out to no end. He rarely spoke. Or moved. Or breathed. All he did was stand with his arms crossed over his chest like a bodyguard and stare at Rowena — and, by extension, you — with eyes that were as neutral as his face. You couldn't tell what he was thinking, and that only added to his creepiness. For all you knew, he could have been a cannibal who planned to chop you up into pieces while you slept and eat you for breakfast.

"Does he have to be here?" you asked Rowena. She was laying on the bed next to your sitting form, propped up on her elbows and boredly flipping through an old grimoire.

"Yes," she replied, not looking up from her book.

"He keeps looking at you." And you'd be lying if you said it wasn't bothering you. Some strange man-bear had no business staring at her as if she were a piece of meat. That was your job.

"That's what I hired him for."

 _No,_ you thought. _You hired him to keep you safe._ Huge difference. He could have done it in a less imposing — and infuriating — way. "I don't like it," you said with a scowl.

The corners of Rowena's lips curled into a smile. She looked up at you, gaze teasing, mischievous. "Are you jealous?"

"No!" But your cheeks flushed with heat as soon as the words left her mouth, giving away your badly kept secret. You sighed. So what if you were jealous? Who wouldn't be in your place, if their girlfriend had hired a humanoid bear as her bodyguard, and he kept staring at her — after having tangoed with her? "He's just… creepy."

Rowena chuckled. "Sure."

"He is!" you insisted.

"Then stop looking at him."

Easier said than done. How do you stop looking at someone when they're there — all the fucking time?

"Can't you get rid of him?" you asked, tone pleading, desperate, almost a childish whine.

"No," Rowena said, sighing. "We need him."

"We don't. _I_ can protect you." You were pretty sure a witch fared better in a fight than a human — even if said human happened to be a giant's distant cousin.

"No offense, dear, but in this case, I'm in need of a more… physical protection." You pouted, and Rowena reached for your hand, tiny fingers twining with yours in a comforting knot. "Besides, he's not protecting just me."

"I don't want him," you said. Couldn't she see that all you wanted was to be with her — alone — without interruption? For the past few days, you couldn't even look at her without him in close proximity.

"But you _need_ him. We both do. At least until this is over."

 _This_ being her quest to bring Crowley back to life.

You couldn't argue with that. As much as you disliked the situation, who were you to stand between mother and son? Rowena was hurting and this time there was nothing you could do to help her. Only Crowley's return could mend her aching, guilt-stricken heart. You and the demon had been more acquaintances than friends, but you missed him. Not as much as Rowena — obviously — but you also wanted him back.

If Bernard's presence could help, then you could tolerate him.

Maybe.

"Fine," you said after a few moments of sorting through your thoughts in uncomfortable silence.

Rowena flashed you a bright smile. "Good girl."

"Yeah, yeah." You giggled. Then your face grew serious again. "Does he have to be so… still?"

"It's what I pay him for."

"To be a statue?"

"To be professional."

"Yeah, but this is a bit too much. I mean…" You stood up and, swallowing your unease, walked over to Bernard. "He's like one of those Royal Guards." You waved a hand in front of his face. He didn't even flinch, his eyes remaining focused on Rowena — or rather the wall behind her. "You shot her a knowing look. "You sure you didn't _Impetus Bestiarum_ him?"

Rowena shook her head, a small laugh escaping her at your antics. "If I did, he'd be long dead by now."

"You're at full power now," you reminded her. As if she'd ever forget.

"It's all part of the spell, dear. I can't change its side effects."

Unconvinced, you kept waving your hand over Bernard's face. No being, human or supernatural, could have stayed still for that long without as much as blinking. He had to have had a switch of some kind, a breaking point.

When waving elicited no reaction, you tried snapping your fingers. The man remained as still as he'd been for the past hour, not even blinking to acknowledge your existence. Sighing, you clapped, hard and loud, a mere centimeter from his nose. He didn't budge.

You let out a huff. What was this man's deal? Why did he have to be so… difficult?

Ignoring Rowena's amused stare, you went back to flailing your hands right in front of Bernard's face.

Nothing.

_Come on!_

Frustrated, not thinking of what you were doing, you swiped at the air in front of him — in a gesture resembling a slap.

Suddenly, his hand shot up, thick, meaty fingers wrapping around your wrist. Your eyes went wide and a gasp escaped your mouth before you could suppress it. His grip on you was tight; given his military background, not to mention his physique, he could crush it without much of an effort.

Your heart jumped in fear at the thought. Surely, he wouldn't. Rowena would stop him before he turned your bones to mush.

Right?

As if she'd read your mind, Rowena called out for him. "Bernard," she said in warning, tone neutral but firm, a laugh she'd been holding back fading in place of a smirk.

Bernard shot you a glare that had surely killed before, and you shuddered under its intensity. Then he released you and crossed his arms again, resuming the position he'd held a minute ago.

You instantly stumbled back and sat back down on the bed, as far away from the man-bear as possible. Not only was he creepy — he was downright scary. You swore to never find yourself alone with him.

"You shouldn't poke the bear, dear," Rowena said.

You scowled at her. Pushing back a smartass remark, you rolled your eyes and huffed. As much as you hated to admit it, she was right. This particular bear was better left un-poked.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by the wonderful OswinTheStrange.


End file.
